Methods Practice 1

Jots:

-praise the name of the Lord
-stand and speak, then end in the name of Jesus
-2 white shirts, long sleeves
-singing, who chose the song?
-more singing prep for what? music, tapping feet
-gestured to sign and read
-posture, hands back and for the, son held book back and forth
-mom kept playing music
-blue tassels
-head down at the end of reading, said a prayer, closed eyes
-talked about story of friends
-do I make eye contact? son turned to him as he talked then turned to us to speak in English
-women turned slightly
-“sound come to god’s thrown”
-He stopped to try to get the right word in English
-hands open, closed, did make eye contact with wife but only briefly held it with us
-story, my friend laughed, okay to chuckle a little?
-dad corrected son, does he speak English? well enough to do the service in English?
-I was sitting back, should I sit formal?
-does mom always play music in the background or does the daughter too?
-when we start to have light we can see between truth and dark…does this light compare to the Spirit?
-lots of dried flowers, vases, nice china on the walls as decor
-kept one hand in pocket and wouldn’t make eye contact
-3 guitars, leather chairs, wood table with tile
-huh, eyebrows raised when son didn’t’ understand dad
-my friend and I have our legs crossed, mom and daughter don’t???
-asked us a question
-different’ view of story of Isaac then we have
-3 death, life and resurrection
-looked around walls, are they aware of time?
-my eyes, look must have been confusing, didn’t mean it
-hot, afraid to offend, not wearing sleeves, kept jacket on
-mom laughed and looked at me and raised eyes as dad made joke
-amen, son, amen
-praise the lord, stand, bow heads, hold hands
-handshake with dad and son
-mom thanked me for coming, daughter said praise the Lord when I hugged her. I said it too.
-dad sit and talked with us while mom and children put food on the table, visit?, help?
-ice tongs, was afraid to try.


Analysis

When I first arrived I was unsure of what I should do to enter the house. I was late and if I were to knock I would have interrupted the service. However, if I was to walk in not being a good friend of the family I was afraid that would also be offensive. I decided to lightly tap and then open the door.

As I entered I saw the mother and daughter sitting in chairs playing classical guitars. The father was seated on one couch singing. The son was standing and he would call out the next hymn number we were to sing. My friend as well was seated, on a different couch. I sat next to her and began to sing.

The hymn books they were using were spirally bound with only a plastic cover to protect the pages. Hymns were typed in columns of two going down each side of the page. There was only print, no notes to follow. Many times the stanzas were marked to repeat that verse or the chorus. I found it easy enough to read the words and follow along. The mother had a beautiful voice and she sang the melody. My friend seemed to be making up a harmony. The father’s foot was taping occasionally to the beat.

Both the mother and the daughter were wearing white. One a blouse and the other more of a sweater. Both of them had long sleeves. As well bother were wearing a skirt past their knees. The father and son were wearing dress pants and button up colored dress shirts. They had nice Sunday shoes on as well.

During one part while singing the dogs in back of the house started to bark. The son went and closed the door. After singing a variety of songs, about 5 songs the son asked if anyone wanted to praise the name “of the Lord.” We all stood. There was a brief moment of silence. The father bowed his head and said how he wanted to thank the Lord. Everyone had their hands together in front. We all bowed our heads and closed our eyes. When he ended he closed in name of Jesus Christ.

We all took out our bibles and took turns reading verses together, while standing. When we were done reading we sat down. The father stood up to address us. His son was standing as well. The father spoke in Brazilian and the son translated. As he talked the father gestured with his hands. The son held one hand in his pocket and held the bible in the other. He would look to him when his father talked and then turn to us when he was translating what his father said.

We were able to volunteer to read. As I read I felt my voice was being too loud. When the others had read it was slow and quiet. The mother was playing the guitar quietly in the background. I tried to lower my voice more to match the atmosphere.

The dad related a lot of stories that were the same stories I've heard from the bible but his story had a differnt angle.

FS Proposal Draft 5/25/11

Family and Community Perceptions of Children Who Have Disabilities or Special Needs, the Ranches near Irapuato, Guanajato, Mexico
A Field Study Proposal


Statement of Intent
My purpose in going to Mexico is to see how children with special needs are viewed by their families and community. I would like to as well understand how these families are viewed by the community. While I am there I hope to find answers to these questions. Do parents feel their child who has special needs is able to learn and progress? Do people in the community feel that these children can progress? What are the perceptions the community members have of these families? Where do these ideas originate from?
During my field study I will gather data through multiple different means. I would like to interview parents who have a child with special needs. I will also complete surveys with local community members and collect information through observation.
Through this experience I hope to understand how these parents feel. I would like to see things how they see things. I hope to come back to Utah and benefit from this knowledge that I have gained there. Previous to this field study I worked with families from Mexico. When I come back from Mexico I would like to continue providing early intervention services. I hope that this new perspective that I will have gained while in Mexico will help me know how to help these families better because I will see things how they see things. I would like to understand more fully what they are thinking and why they might be thinking this way. Because of this experience I will be more sensitive to their individual needs and provide better services for them and their children.
As well I would like to complete this study to help me determine future decisions of my education. I have always loved other countries and living with other people. It is so wonderful to understand and see things from their perspective. I have contemplated going into a masters program along this area of interest. I want to study different people and how they view the world. This experience will help me to decide if this is the area I would really like to continue my education in.

Background and Significance & Literature Review
Mexico, BYU has been sending students to this area for years. My field study is an appropriate fit for this location. In Santa Rosa there are families who currently have children with disabilities. They have superstitions towards these children who have disabilities because the area is so preserved this understanding continues to be prevalent in this area.
Since having a child with a disability can be looked on from community members as a bad thing. This creates a very tender and touchy subject. I do not wish to draw unwanted negative attention to these families because of views the community might have. If I am gathering feedback or people’s opinions they could begin to talk and this could impact the family feeling hostile towards the community members and their opinions or towards myself as well.
If I were to gather this information through interviews or surveys that would call direct attention to these families which could be unwanted. This may mean that I will only be able to gather information through observation. Possibly as relationships deepen I might be able to complete a few interviews with the family members or parents of these children.
Much information about attitudes and perceptions of these children has been gathered previously. Some of this information is specific to location and cultures. Much of what has been gathered connects to the family. What are the feelings of these families and what are the emotions they are dealing with. Then it looks at how these emotions impact the family unit.
I feel that it is very important to understand these views. Understanding how a child is perceived by their parents influences how those parents interact with them throughout the day. Those influences impact the child and their development. It is also important to understand where they are coming from. I would like to work with families from Mexico to provide services for their child. I need to better understand where they are coming from so that I am more fully able to address their needs.

Methodology/Procedures
In order to for this information to be gathered I will first need to build rapport with the families and community I will be working with. I believe this rapport is built by becoming an active participant of the community and as well by connecting on a personal level with individuals and families. My first month and possibly even more time will be dedicated to building this rapport.
To be an active participant of the community I must do things the way they do things, know about the concerns that face the community, and be willing to serve and give back to the community. This process will have begun even before I go to Mexico. I will study and learn about this area now so that when I go there, I will already have a good understanding of them and what is important to them as a whole. For example I will have an understanding of their history, how they became who they are. As well I will learn about their current situation and challenges they may be facing in the future. Understanding where someone comes from and being aware of their concerns helps to show awareness and a genuine care which can bond and strengthen the relation I will have with those there. When I am there I will take part in the things that they do as a community to show my support and I will do my best to fit in and do things the way they do things.
To connect to people on a personal and family level I will have to sincerely come to know them and care about them. These relationships can be built by spending time together. I will do activities they do in their homes with them. As I do what they do I will gain greater insight into what their lives are like. Then as I begin to see things from their perspective and can more fully understand them, I will in turn be able to support and strengthen them. I must be aware of their life and what matters to them. Conversations will aid this as well as confiding in them. If I go with a desire to learn from them I will bond with them as they teach me.
The population I will be sampling will be very small. I hope only to reflect on the perceptions of a few families and then as well the perception of that specific small community that I will be living in. These perceptions will come mainly from mothers and hopefully a few fathers.
These people that I will be gathering my sample from will be those whom I have come to know. It will be the people I have come close to because they have been willing to spend time with me and we have build and developed a good rapport. This is a heavy issue and so the only way to gain access or insights is through those who want to and choose to open up and share information with me.
This information will be gathered in a variety of different ways. Observations will be done in homes where there is a child with special needs or disabilities. Interviews will also be conducted with those who have children with special needs. Due to the sensitivity of my topic and to protect these families only observations will be conducted to more fully understand how those in the community view them. This will lead to much hypothesis when drawing conclusions about their understanding, but it is the more ethical way to approach this topic.
The method which I will use, interviewing, to gather insight into parents’ perceptions will lead me to conclusions for my field study purpose. I will have to be immersed in their culture and see things how they see things if I’m going to accurately reflect their perceptions and understanding. As well due to language there may be some barriers. I speak Spanish, but not perfectly. There is sure to be some miscommunications. Even with the words translated correctly there can be some confusion due to different interpretations or meanings of those words. To address these problems I will need to clarify meanings and verify what has been said and what I understand to have been said.

Ethics and Approval
To maintain confidentiality of the information that has been gathered will be unidentifiable. Genders and ages of the children will be known but names and places will be left confidential. This will help to protect the identities of those families I will be working with. These people will participate because they want to not because they feel an obligation. The interviews will be conducted through casual conversation. If a parent does not wish to answer something I’m sure they would change the conversation. I as the one conducting this interview will have to be aware of those feelings and respect the change of direction of the conversation. I will not continue to press and issue if they have avoided answering.
To minimize risk and mazimize be….reciprocity

Preliminary Plans for Post-field Application
This field experience will benefit me greatly in the future. I plan to continue working in the early intervention field as a developmental specialist. Since I speak Spanish I will be working with Hispanic families who have children with disabilities. The majority of which are from Mexico. This experience will give me insight into how these parents view their child who has special needs. Their understanding of their child impacts their involvement and interactions with them. This inquiry will allow me to see things how they see things and then allow me, because I am coming from their point of view, to know how to better help them.
I am also trying to look into masters programs. I love cultures and seeing how people view the world. This experience will permit me to live in another culture and study how they see things. Through this experience I will see if this is really the direction I would like my education to go as I go forward with these plans.

Qualifications and Limitations
I am qualified to participate in this field study program for a variety of different reasons. I

This information will be gathered in a variety of different ways. Observations will be done in homes where there is a child with special needs or disabilities. Interviews will be conducted with those who have children with special needs.

Small Assignment: 2 Souce Document Analyses

Source Document Analysis Worksheet -- 1st one

Shapiro, Johanna and Tittle, Ken Oct-Dec 1986
Author’s name (last, first) Publication date
Individual and Family Correlates Among Poor, Spanish-Speaking Women of Their Attitudes and Responses to Children and Adults with Disabilities
Title
Journal of Rehabilitation Vol. 52 Issue 4
Book series OR Journal Location and publisher OR volume, issue, pages


1. What is the source’s stated purpose (the argument or thesis)?

The purpose of this article is to find out, “whether negative attitudes and responses toward adults and children with disabilities among Mexican mothers who did not have previous significant contact with disabled people might be related to individual psychological health and / or family functioning.” The research then hypothesizes that these negative attitudes of the population towards disabled people would increase the depression and poor health as well as decrease family cohesion and increase family conflict.


2. What evidence does the author provide to support his or her main argument? How is the author attempting to logically prove his or her thesis and how does this affect the organization of the document?

The authors gathered previous research that helped supported their hypothesis. They then followed up with good measurements to gather information to support their main argument. This affected how they organized the paper. First they needed to be backed up so they started by stating the previous research that had been done in this area that would support them. Next they showed how they gathered their information proving how accurate it was. Then they made the hypothesis that formed and then tied their main argument together.

3. Who is the audience? What does the author assume the audience already knows about the topic?

I don’t know who the audience is, but the authors do a good job of not assuming that the audience already knows things. They help the audience see from previous research that was concluded where they are coming from and why they are doing this research. I think most anyone could read it and follow this topic.

4. Describe the author’s methods (i.e. how does the author know what he or she knows)? In your opinion were they appropriate why or why not?

The authors used a depression scale to collect data and as well they concluded an interview. Everything was done in their native language. The way they gathered data was appropriate but the sampling was very small and even then it was a hypothesized conclusion. These were people who did not have a child with special needs and it was hypothesized what their feelings would be if they did have a child with special needs. You cannot take that gathered information and then generalize it.

5. To what other sources (theorist, researchers, artists) does the author refer? Explain the specific ideas the author draws upon from these other sources to support his or her own argument (the theoretical framework).
They draw upon a few different sources. The main ones that stuck out to me were Cornelius’ research as well as Clark’s research. Cornelius research states how they this group has difficulty meeting financial cost of medical care. Clark’s research shows that for this population group medical care is often perceived as expensive. He also goes into the negative attitudes and perceptions of this group to those who have physical disabilities. The authors draw from these sources to support the argument that these mothers would have negative attitudes from the community that would impact their emotional health. As well because of the research supporting the lack of access to medical help it would support that fact that they would not be receiving help in these situations and there would be an impact on their emotional health.

6. What are the connections between this source and your project? How useful or applicable is this source’s approach to your own project? How is yours new and different?

I think that this could be connected to my project. It actually led me to other research in this area that has been done as well as hypothesized the feelings these families might be having. I am in a sense trying to see what those same feelings are for my research, but I’m not applying it to how it would affect that family like they did in their research. Mine will focus on what their views and attitudes are not necessarily how they are dealing with those feelings. It is a really good start though. This could be very helpful to me.



Source Document Analysis Worksheet--2nd one

Bauman, Dona Jun 12, 2007
Author’s name (last, first) Publication date
Hear Our Voice: Parents of Children with Disabilities from Mexico
Title
Paper presented at the International Association of Special Education P 6
Book series OR Journal Location and publisher OR volume, issue, pages


1. What is the source’s stated purpose (the argument or thesis)?

The purpose of this article was to, “examine the perceptions of parents with children with
disabilities towards their children and how Mexican society treats their children.”

2. What evidence does the author provide to support his or her main argument? How is the author attempting to logically prove his or her thesis and how does this affect the organization of the document?

The author states previous gathered information from Zuniga. He previously did research in this area and they used it to support what they were looking further into. As well information was gathered from families through interviews that supported the main argument. This did affect the organization of the document. They started by stating from Zuniga to back them up. Then they showed what methods they used to gather information and then they connected it all together to support their purpose.

3. Who is the audience? What does the author assume the audience already knows about the topic?

Because the article was in the paper presented at the International Association of Special Education I’m assuming that was the audience. However, enough background information was given to support anyone reading it, even those who do not have a background in special education.

4. Describe the author’s methods (i.e. how does the author know what he or she knows)? In you
opinion were they appropriate why or why not?

They knew what they knew through interviews with families who have children with special needs. This was a good and accurate way to find out what their opinions are. However, it was taken from a small sampling so generalizations should not be made. It was also taken from middle class community so it should not be applied across the board to other socioeconomic classes.

5 To what other sources (theorist, researchers, artists) does the author refer? Explain the specific ideas the author draws upon from these other sources to support his or her own argument (the theoretical framework).

The author refers to Zuniga’s research. The author draw on specific characteristics a professional should have when working with Hispanic families who have children with special needs. As well he connects Zuniga’s conclusions on what Mexican cultural beliefs are for families who have a child with special needs to the main ideas he is researching and trying to prove.

6. What are the connections between this source and your project? How useful or applicable is this source’s approach to your own project? How is yours new and different?

There are many connections that can be made from this article with my project. It is almost exactly like what I want to study. It could give me support as I try to show my points through the research I do. The big difference I see with his report is that it focused on the families views. I want to see the community’s views as a whole too. His also had very small sampling so I’m not sure how much I should use it to assist me in my project. Plus his sample was from the middle class, mine will be with a lower socioeconomic group.

Project Question

My purpose for doing this research is to learn and better acknowledge how those from Mexico understand and feel about a child with special needs. What superstitions do they have? What is their current understanding of the capability of a child with special needs? Do they feel they can progress? As well I would like to understand what origin this understanding and feelings come from. This understanding will hopefully help me as I work with families here from Mexico who have a child with special needs or disability.

FS Proposal: background and significance 5/18/11

5/18/11---Sorry Maggie, this is a horrible draft.... I will try to revise it this Sat.!!!

Background and Significance

Mexico, BYU has been sending students to this area for years. My field study is an appropriate fit for this location. In Santa Rosa there are families who currently have children with disabilities. They have superstitions towards these children who have disabilities because the area is so preserved this understanding continues to be prevalent in this area.

Since having a child with a disability can be looked on from community members as a bad thing. This creates a very tender and touchy subject. I do not wish to draw unwanted negative attention to these families because of views the community might have. If I am gathering feedback or people’s opinions they could begin to talk and this could impact the family feeling hostile towards the community members and their opinions or towards myself as well.

If I were to gather this information through interviews or surveys that would call direct attention to these families which could be unwanted. This may mean that I will only be able to gather information through observation. Possibly as relationships deepen I might be able to complete a few interviews with the family members or parents of these children.

Much information about attitudes and perceptions of these children has been gathered previously. Some of this information is specific to location and cultures. Much of what has been gathered connects to the family. What are the feelings of these families and what are the emotions they are dealing with. Then it looks at how these emotions impact the family unit.

I feel that it is very important to understand these views. Understanding how a child is perceived by their parents influences how those parents interact with them throughout the day. Those influences impact the child and their development. It is also important to understand where they are coming from. I would like to work with families from Mexico to provide services for their child. I need to better understand where they are coming from so that I am more fully able to address their needs.

FS Proposal: intent statement

Statement of Intent

My purpose in going to Mexico is to see how children with special needs are viewed by their families and community. I would like to as well understand how these families are viewed by the community. While I am there I hope to find answers to these questions. Do parents feel their child who has special needs is able to learn and progress? Do people in the community feel that these children can progress? What are the perceptions the community members have of these families? Where do these ideas originate from?

During my field study I will gather data through multiple different means. I would like to interview parents who have a child with special needs. I will also complete surveys with local community members and collect information through observation.

Through this experience I hope to understand how these parents feel. I would like to see things how they see things. I hope to come back to Utah and benefit from this knowledge that I have gained there. Previous to this field study I worked with families from Mexico. When I come back from Mexico I would like to continue providing early intervention services. I hope that this new perspective that I will have gained while in Mexico will help me know how to help these families better because I will see things how they see things. I would like to understand more fully what they are thinking and why they might be thinking this way. Because of this experience I will be more sensitive to their individual needs and provide better services for them and their children.

As well I would like to complete this study to help me determine future decisions of my education. I have always loved other countries and living with other people. It is so wonderful to understand and see things from their perspective. I have contemplated going into a masters program along this area of interest. I want to study different people and how they view the world. This experience will help me to decide if this is the area I would really like to continue my education in.

FS Proposal outline 5/11/11

Research Proposal: Family and Community Perceptions of Children Who Have Disabilities or Special Needs, the Ranches near Irapuato, Guanajato, Mexico

Purpose:

My purpose in going to the Ranches near the city of Irapuato in Guanajato, Mexico is to gain insight into how parents from these rural areas of Mexico perceive children who have special needs. I would also like to understand how families who have a child with special needs are viewed by their communities. In general what are these communities understanding of a child with a developmental delay or disability.

Conceptualization:

A child who has a delay or disability is someone who does not reach the community’s definition of age appropriate milestones on time. Parent’s perceptions will be analyzed into areas of feelings they have toward their child and what they understand and believe their child can do and cannot do when looking at their developmental progress.

Method:

This information will be gathered in a variety of different ways. Observations will be done in homes where there is a child with special needs or disabilities. Interviews will be conducted with those who have children with special needs. As well surveys will be conducted to community members throughout the ranches connected to their feelings towards families who have a child with special needs and their general beliefs towards that family’s child on how that can grow and progress in there development.

Operationalization:

The observations will be done through a rubric that will take into account the environment, for example shelter, food, and materials. There will also be a connection to interactions with that child, with whom and how frequently, etc. The interviews will be a serious of open ended questions that will be given to the child’s parents. The surveys will be given orally to those from the community. These questions will include both how the family is perceived as well as how the community perceives the child and their ability to make developmental gains.

Population Sample:

This sample will be done with a percentage of the people being geographically close to a child who has special needs and the other percentage not having a close proximity to a child with special needs. Hopefully information will be gathered from a variety of ranches outside Irapuato.

Observations:

Will be concluded through data collection.

Data Processing:

The data from observations, interviews, and surveys will be gathered and organized on a weekly basis. Based on findings, patterns will be noted and decisions on which direction to continue will be made.

Analysis:

I intend to look for patterns or trends in the different areas explained above in my purpose. A big enough sample from each of the ranches should be gathered to give generalization to the perceptions of the people and families from these communities.

Application:

I intend to write a paper that accurately reflects the communities of the Ranches perceptions of families and children who have special needs. I would also like to point out the patterns of feelings these parents have from these communities of how they perceive their child with special needs.

Coercion

I am fascinated with all that we are learning in regards to ethics and the process we go through to submit our proposal to the IRB. Everything I do in the field has to be ethical. To make sure this happens I will have to be approved by the IRB. Since we have been learning about this process and how to properly complete research I have found myself paying more attention to research studies that have been done. I have been asking myself it these studies were carried out properly. This leads me to an experience I had yesterday at work.

I work in the field of early intervention and many times research is gathered and studies are conducted to see progress or gain new insights into my field. My work has been completing training these past two days with an important figure in the Early Intervention Field. A few times during this training this person who has been instructing us has mentioned some studies that have been conducted. Things were said about some of the studies that made me question the validity of the research gathered. I wondered if it had been conducted properly.

Yesterday I was participating in this training. We had a small break and I went down to my office to quickly get some calling, and scheduling done for work. It took longer than expected and I happened to get back to the training a little late. I sat down and there was this paper being passed around which people were writing their names and emails on. I naturally assumed it was to collect our information so that the presenter could email us the power point slides. I assumed that because I’ve gone to many trainings and this happens frequently. However, that was not why the list was being passed around.

When I passed the list to one of my coworkers she asked the people around us what it was for. Apparently it was being passed around to gather the names of people who wanted to participate in a research project. Then a different coworker encouraged her to sign the paper saying something about how you were going to get a free video camera and this and that would happen if you participated, etc. I had missed all of this information being presented about the study we were all signing up for because I had gotten back late from the break. I’m grateful I found out that the list was for that purpose. I didn’t know all of the details of the study, but because of what they were telling me I already had enough information to know that I didn’t have enough information to know if I wanted to participate in the study or not. It seemed a bit fishy to me. I took the list and crossed my name of. Thank goodness I realized that by writing my name there I was saying I wanted to participate in a study. I just thought it was an emailing list for the power point. Too funny!

I am glad I realized what I was about to get myself into, and that I was able to get myself out of it, before it happened. I realize that research needs to be conducted properly. Since I understand more of the guidelines that should be followed during a study to make sure it is carried out properly I can better analyze studies themselves to see if they are valid. As well I can better prepare myself so that my research is done properly and according to the necessary guidelines.

Participant Fear

As a participant in a new situation it can be scary to make a decision and act. It's okay to acknowledge that fear, but it should not stop me from acting. Yesterday I had the opportunity to participate in a new situation. I went to a Brazilian family’s home to join them for Sunday services. Most everything was new and as a participant in this situation at times I was unaware of what was expected or appropriate. I was afraid to do something incorrect, but I realized as a new participant, even when I did not understand everything, I needed to decide what to do and make a decision to the best of my abilities.

I didn’t know all of the expectations, so I had to make a decision based off of the knowledge I had. I was unfortunately running late. I had left a family gathering at my sister’s home like an hour away. I planned to get to the service on time when it started at 8pm, but due to rain I had to slow down when I was driving and my arrival time was later than I had hoped. I was around 10 min. late. When I got to the door I stood there for a second. I heard singing coming from inside. It was clear they were in middle of their worship service. I was afraid to knock on the door to interrupt what was going on. As well I remembered that last time when I had come with my friend to meet them she had knocked on the door and the mother of the family told her she didn’t need to knock as we were lead into their home. I was thinking, “Is it okay for me to just walk into their home?” I had only met the family briefly the previous time before when I had came to their home. It was okay for my friend to walk in, but I was not as acquainted with them. Would it be appropriate for me to walk in not having established a good relationship with the family yet? Would it be offensive? I did feel like it would also be inappropriate to knock on the door in the middle of the service and interrupt them. I was a guest, a late one at that. How would they feel about me knocking to interrupt them? There I was standing at the door unsure or how to act, not knowing what would be appropriate in this situation. “Do I go in?” or “Do I knock?” I decided to just do it. I lightly tapped twice and quickly pushed the door open. I let myself in and found my way to the couch. I smiled at the mom who was playing the guitar. I saw my friend and quickly sat down next to her and began singing songs. I jumped it to do what they were doing, singing words to songs I had never sung before.

After the service they invited us to join them for dinner. I was again unsure of what to do. My friend was talking to the father in the living room while the mother and children were in the kitchen getting dinner on the table. I wanted to go help in the kitchen, because in a new home I always feel more at ease if I’m helping do something in the kitchen. Yet, my friend was still sitting talking intently to the father, the one who had addressed us during the service. Was I supposed to stay and visit? Is it a guest place to help out? Would I offend the father if I didn’t stay and visit with him? I wanted to help out, but I wasn’t sure what I should do. I waited, trying to feel out what to do. A few minutes later my friend said, “I should help in the kitchen.” That was my cue that it was okay to get up and help. I said something like, “Me too!” and jumped up to help out. I suddenly felt more comfortable and at ease.

As I was helping the mother asked me to put ice in this bowl. I figured it was to go onto the table, but in my family we always would put the ice directly into the cups. This bowl looked nice so I assumed that instead of carrying the bowl to the table to feel the glasses with ice I was supposed to just put the bowl on the table. But what do they use to get the ice out? Again more questions. The bowl is supposed to go on the table right? Do they need something to get the ice out? I was unsure of what to do. We have been learning in class that in these new situations we can’t be afraid to act. I was a little afraid but I realized I should act so I did. I found a spoon and put it in the bowl. As I was ready to walk to the table with the ice Sam, their son, stopped me. Apparently they have tongs they use to get the ice out. He mentioned where I could find them. I got them and replace the spoon with the tongs.

How neat it was to have made decisions to act. At points during the night I felt this almost nervous feeling because I did not know what to do. I realized though that I had to act. I had to decide when I arrived to enter without really knocking and waiting to come in. I had to decide to help or not help in the kitchen. I had to decide to get a spoon and put it in the bowl. Each of these decisions was made through observation and analysis. Sometimes the conclusions were correct and sometimes they weren’t. It was good though. It is not horrible to make an incorrect judgment. People will understand. And just like Sam informed me to use tongs instead of a spoon, I feel like there will be many people around me in these situations that will be trying to help me understand what it is that I’m supposed to do. I should not be afraid to make a judgment call and act.

Body Language- What are we really trying to say?

So much of what we say to someone comes through what we do with our body. I've really been trying to pay attention to what I'm doing when I'm with people to help me more fully see what I'm trying to tell them.

These things can be very simple. For example, I went running with my friend. As we were jogging he was talking. I didn't want to be rude and interrupt him, but at times we would come to a crossroads and we would need to choose the direction we wanted in which to continue running. I found myself simply gesturing with my hand the direction I wanted to go. Then I would start running in that directions and he would start running in that direction to. This allowed me to not interrupt him, but still communicate the message I wanted. I have never realized that I gesture with my hands when I run. I've probably done this same things so many times before, but I've never paid attention to it. It's something so simple and little, but it really conveys the meaning, and without a word being said. How fascinating?!

As well what we unconsciously do with our body can be portray something opposite to what we really are trying to portray. I realized this as I was making dinner last night. My roommates and I cook a few nights out of the week for one another. Last night, it was my night to cook. I was running behind. My roommate had a commitment, somewhere she needed to be and I was desperately trying to get dinner on the table on time. I had a pretty full day and was a little frazzle. As I was preparing dinner I told my roommate some of my frustrations. She was really sweet and came over to give me a hug, it was a very kind gesture to make. I however, was so focused on hurrying to clean the strawberries that when she hugged me my body was still toward the sink. That in a sense forced her to give me a side hug. She was trying her best to show support. Thankfully I was paying attention to my body language. After she hugged me I realized how I had unintentionally shown through my body that what I was doing at the time was more important than her hug. My body was turned to the sink, not her. I was still paying more attention to getting dinner on the table then her.

I thought to myself, "This is opposite of what I want to do. Here she is trying to be a supportive friend and by not turning my body toward her when she hugged me I am showing that what she's doing to help and comfort me doesn't really matter as much to me as does cutting the strawberries." So...I put the knife down, shut off the water, turned my body toward her and in a more or less dramatic and comic way said, "I need a real hug." She laughed and then we fully embraced. It was a sweet and tender moment. I was so grateful that I realized what I was doing with my body at this moment in time! Being aware of my body allowed me to more fully portray the real message I wanted to portray. That message being, that I loved her and appreciated her support. I believe that had I not shown with my body, as well as my words, what I was feeling the message could have been misinterpreted. Body language, if paid attention to, can help get the true meaning across more completely and fully. How neat!

Greetings

Have you ever tried to greet someone with a handshake and they go for a hug? Maybe you are the one getting ready to greet them with a hug and the other person goes for a handshake? In different cultures there are many different ways to greet a person. As well, due to the situation or person, the greeting can change. It was interesting to complete the worksheet about the greetings used in the country I will be going to. As I talked with some friends from Mexico to find out the different greetings of various situations I noticed that there was not one specific set way to greet a person in each of these different situations. They both told that the greeting could vary. The way to greet in each particular situation just depends on a few things. Some things that determined this were, how touchy the person was, how well they knew them, what their socioeconomic status was, and as well what their body language was showing the other person at that moment in time. These things would determine what greeting they would use in each of the different situation.

I am in a new ward here on campus and it has been interesting to see how I greet my new ward members, both the boys and girls. I find myself more willing to hug the girls when I meet them (even if it is for the first time), but I'm also noticing that some of the boys are greeting me with a hug. Thankfully their body language usually leads me to understand as we greet that a hug is coming, not a handshake. Isn't it interesting how depending on the person, the body language, and the situation or moment in time that these greetings can change? I believe there are guidelines in greetings that help us to more or less know what to do, but it is not until we find ourselves in the situation that we know which way we should greet a person. So more or less there are guidelines, but variations within those guidelines. It depends on the factors that were mentioned earlier.

Greetings are not always going to be done perfectly. I can learn the overall idea of what is expected, but what I do in that situation really just depends on multiple varying factors. Monday night I had just gotten home from an evening run and I was out on the lawn talking with my roommates. Two of their friends, whom I previously had met on Sunday showed up. Both of these girls are from Brazil. When I met them on Sunday I greeted them with a hug. As we were approaching the moment of greeting I found myself unsure of what to do. Both of my roommates were hugging them, but I was all sweaty and gross from my run, so I didn't want to hug them. I preferred to spare them the joys of smelling me. I also felt self-conscious that if I were to hug them in my present state I would feel gross. I was sweaty and stinky and they would see me as sweaty and stinky if I hugged them. Silly, but truthfully it is how I felt at that moment in time.

I could tell through their body language that they were expecting a hug so I tried to politely tell them that I had been running and that I was all sweaty and stinky. We didn't hug but rather acknowledged one another by standing near each other as we began talking. It was a little uncomfortable and I did feel that by not giving them a hug I was not helping to build up rapport with them. However, at that time it was what I felt was best in that situation. I am going to encounter many different greetings with multiple people as I go live in Mexico. There will be guidelines to help me, but each situation will change due to varying factors. Sometimes I will get the greeting right and at other times I might not get the greeting right. I believe that even if the greeting isn't done just as might be expected that is okay. It's a learning experience, not the end of the world.

Community Rules - Continued

From my previous post "Community Rules" Maggie asked me the question. "How will you find out what those rules are?" I talked a bit about this in my comment following Sarah's question on the post. However, I had another experience that has helped me understand a few new things.

I believe that rules of society can be learned in many ways, two of which I believe are observation and direct instruction. This last Friday I sang in the tabernacle with the women’s choir I belong to. We wore a lei as part of our outfit. I do not usually wear leis. I thought that the lei looked best pulled down long in the front, but as I looked around at all of the women from the choir many of them had the lei pulled out wider on the shoulders so it did not hang as low in the front. I was wondering if I should switch how I was wearing mine, but I rather liked how it looked the way I had it, so I kept it that way. Before we went up to sing our director gave us a few instructions. One of which was how we were suppose to wear our leis. Apparently wearing the lei so it spreads out more across the shoulders rather than hangs long in the front is the proper way to wear a lei. I had no idea! I had observed how many of the women were wearing their leis, but I did not know that was the correct way until our director told me. I have reflected for some time since the concert. There were rules of society, for example how a lei should be worn, that I was unaware of. I almost discovered this rule through observation, but it wasn't until I received direct instruction that I fully understood the rule and why it was that way.

In each community there are different rules. I know there will be many things about the culture in Mexico that I will not understand. I can learn some of these things through observation. At times as well, I hope that I will learn some of these things through direct instruction. It is likely that those around me, whom I will have become friends with, will help me know these rules by simple telling them to me. Through these means I can learn the rules and then choose to live them so that I am part of the community. Then I too can join in with the rest so as to not be the only woman in the whole choir who is not wearing my lei properly.

Observations and Conclusions

When observations are made and analyzed with correct knowledge conclusions can be pretty accurate. The other day I was coming home with my roommate. As we were driving up to the house we saw our other roommate getting into her car to drive off. Later that night, to the same roommate who had been with me earlier, I said something about how the other roommate was at work. She asked more or less, "How did you know that?" I then went on to explain that as we drove up to the house and saw our friend get into the car I had seen her lunch box. She had taken it with her the other night when she had to go to work. She works the night shift. So with the information I had gathered (such as the time being late and her carrying her lunchbox) I had concluded that she was at work. My friend agreed and we found out the next day that my conclusion was correct.

I have been thinking quite a bit about this experience. In Mexico I will be studying how people view children with special needs. I have been worrying a little about the fact that this is such tender subject, especially in a culture where having a child with a disability can be looked upon as the parents fault. Some people in this area believe that if your child who has a disability it is because you or your husband have sinned. That is a generalization, but some of my friends and coworkers from Mexico have shared this with me and I do feel that this will play into their cultural views. As I have learned these things I have really been wondering, "How am I going to talk to people about these things when it is looked upon in their community as a bad thing?" In order to do interviews with parents who have a child with special needs I probably will to have build good rapport, which could take a while to do. Thus, the numbers of parents interviewed will be limited. I have been thinking that I will need to do quite a bit of my research through observation.

Through observations I felt that my personal views and understanding could really affect the validity of the information gathered. However, I am realizing that this might not necessarily be the case. Such was the situation with my roommate. I concluded that she was working because of correct facts that I had gathered. Observation can be a good way to gather information. I will just need to be sure that the facts I pull from or accurate and complete to get me to the correct conclusion.

Reflexivity- seeing things the way they see them

As I am doing my research in Mexico it is imperative that I see things the way they see things. If I allow my own characteristics to see and interpret the situation the research gathered will not be accurate. We learned about this in class, reflexivity means that in some part my own characteristic can affect what I see and how I interpret my observations. In truth it would be impossible not to have this affect my research a little. Even if I try hard not to let it, to some extent it will impact my observations, but my goal is to try to keep that affect to a minimum. I really must see things from their cultural views.

It is not fair to take my cultural rules and apply them to their situation. I must come from their cultural views to see the situation. I have wondered a lot about this. At work I have talked with a couple of coworkers about my plans in Mexico. Many of them have tried to tell me how I must do this or that to better the situation and help them learn how to work with children who have disabilities. This is not my purpose in going, nor would it be correct to do, if it were my intention. I am a guest in their culture. To go there and tell them what they are doing or not doing according to our cultural rules here would be completely unethical. However, at the same time I realize that because of my educational background and understanding it will be very difficult for me to not look at them and the situations from my perspective. I am afraid I will judge them, and judge them inappropriately because I will be trying to apply my cultural understanding to their cultural situation. I know that they are not where we are in how we view children who has special needs. If I look at it from our cultural views and understanding I might easily feel and judge what they are doing to be wrong. But, if I look at it from their cultural views and understanding it is very likely that I will have a different feeling toward them.

I am afraid that I will see children in hard situations there. At those times I might feel they are being neglected or mistreated because of lack of understanding in that culture of that child’s capabilities. I have a hard time seeing these tough situations. It makes me almost physically sick when I think about it. It will be difficult for me to see children in these situations and not want to share my input or understanding of how to help them learn and grow. Yet, that is not my purpose there. I wonder where the balance lies. Part of me says, "Shouldn't I help to better the situation for these children?" The other part says, "To try to better the situation would be applying my cultural beliefs to their cultural situation and that would be unethical." Tough stuff! When I find myself in these situations I will need to remember to look at that situation from their cultural views, not mine. I want to keep as much of my own characteristics and interpretations out as possible when gathering and presenting the research I will gather.

Community Rules

In each community or society there are simple rules that need to be observed and followed to help that society function. This last Sat. I found myself a little frustrated because people were not following simple rules. I was riding my bike on a trail heading up Provo Canyon. My frustration was due to the fact that people, in particular young teenagers walking in groups, up the trail were not staying on their designated side of the path. You see the path is divided into three sections. One for bikers heading North, one for bikers heading South, and one section is for those people who are walking. There is logic behind all of this. As one on a bike it is very difficult to ride quickly if there is a person in front of you. There are also bikes coming toward you from the opposite direction and if you are not in your space, and them in theirs, it is possible to collide with them. Sat. I found myself frustrated because some of the youth would walk outside the designated areas in my biking lane. Due to the fact that I was trying to bike fast it was frustrating when there was someone in my lane. I would have to yell, "Biker on your left." They would then move, well usually they would move. Some were not paying attention and almost did not move in time. I almost hit them or on occasion I would almost hit a biker who was coming the opposite direction of me, all because the person walking was not walking in their designated area. I thought about this as I rode. It's not like the rules were that hard to follow. They even had pictures painted on the path with figures and arrows telling you which lanes to proceed forth in. It hit me that there are rules for safety reasons in each society. Some of these rules might not be clearly understood to those in that society as well as those not from that society. I wondered if there would be rules that I might not understand or know of when I’m in Mexico that I should follow. Rules that will help protect me. They could be simple rules like what to do in which lane to help protect me as I travel somewhere. To those around me in that culture/society I might appear foolish because I am not following those rules. Maybe like those teenagers I will be clueless as to what those rules are. I hope not. I hope to see these rules and follow them. Not just for my safety but also for the safety of those around me. I would like to pay attention to this in Mexico. What are the written and unwritten rules that I will need to follow when I'm there?

Durty Hands

I found myself in class on Friday struggling to participate in the activity of breaking apart my purpose statement. Ashley was writing on the board a mile a minute trying break down her statement. I just sat there not wanting to break mine apart because I didn't know where to begin. I had too many ideas floating around. I thought about some of the children that I work with that have sensory needs. Some of them seek sensory input, for example they run in circles and jump up and down so they feel where they are in space. Then there are other kids who try to avoid sensory input all together, covering their ears when they hear loud noises or trying not to get anything onto, and everything off of, their hands because they can't stand the feeling. In class as I was doing this activity I felt as if I was a child with sensory needs. I had a huge mess that I was supposed to touch with my hands, but I didn't want to. I was afraid to. I felt like there was a mass of information in front of me and I did not want to stick my hands into the craziness to get dirty. As class continued and we talked about this massive amount of information that I will be organizing I realized that this is something I am going to have to face. That is how you go about an inquiry. You have to sift through all of this information in order to drive what you are trying to find the answers to. I am going to have to get messy!!! What a concept! In order to help the kids who are struggling with sensory needs who do not want to touch things with their hands we try to help them by exposing them to the opportunities to get their hands dirty. I am going to have to let myself get dirty. I have a lot of information coming at me from many directions and I am going to have to learn how to touch it and organize it. The only way to do this is by going in there and exposing myself to the mess. I have to start touching it. I want to learn how to do this. Organizing and gathering relevant information will assist me in the field. My inquiry could take on a new direction because of the situations I find myself in there. If I have not gathered and organized the information well here then when I get there I will be unsure of what to do for my project. I will be there with no direction and months to pass until I head home. That would not be good! Here is the current condition of my "Purpose Statement."

My purpose for doing this research is to learn and better acknowledge how those from Mexico understand and feel about a child with special needs. What superstitions do they have? What is their current understanding of the capability of a child with special needs? Do they feel they can progress? As well I would like to understand what origin this understanding and feelings come from. This understanding will hopefully help me as I work with families here from Mexico who have a child with special needs or disability.

Here is my beginning. I have a feeling this is going to change, and change again, and again, and again as I get my hands dirty and sort through information to decide what direction my inquiry needs to take at that moment in time.

The Power of Words

What I learned in class on Wednesday about symbols and meanings happened to come up right away. It happened during institute. I heard a word the instructor said and I instantly put a different meaning to that word than the instructor had. She said, "God was criticizing them." I would have said in that context that "God was chastening them" Criticize has a very negative connotation in my mind. I do not feel that God would ever criticize his children. To me that would mean he was belittling or demeaning them. However, in my mind for that context it would have been completely appropriate to have said that He was chastening them. I honestly wonder if she realized she said that word. Maybe she didn't mean to. Either way though I realized that one word, or symbol, can have two different meanings. I feel that we more easily see these differences when looking at other cultures. We are quicker to try to understand why someone would have said something the way they did because we realize they do not come from the same background as us. I think we fail to realize that in our own culture, due to smaller cultures within our culture, we sometimes have different meanings for a word than someone else. Unfortunately, we as a whole are not usually aware of this and I feel many misinterpretations can arise because of this. If only we were less quick to judge and more willing to look at the situation from different angles, at least trying to see things from the angle of the person with whom we are confronting. I am one to judge way too quickly. I try to find and understand the patterns of people I meet so that I can place them. It really is true what we were discussing in class. We try to make sense of people as fast as possible because then we can relate to them, understand them, etc. It is sad to me though that in the process we can sometimes misplace them or not come to understand who they truly are. In class on Monday Matt had me remember a situation from my mission. I then had about 5 min. to write down adjectives to describe that memory. We talked about descriptive and evaluative words. Descriptive words describe physical attributes I can see and things as they are. Evaluative words are words where I had placed values or meaning to those descriptive words. For example I used the adjective "happy." This word was used to describe one of my favorite investigators, but the smile on her face (the descriptive thing I saw) led me to that adjective because of a meaning I place to that smile. Since then I have been looking at situations and paying attention to my feelings. I think, "What descriptive things am I seeing?" as well as, "What evaluative things am I assuming?" I love how analyzing this situation connects to patterns or categories. In these situations as I make the descriptive and evaluative conclusions I am forming patterns that are making people or situations. I am now trying to pay attention to these observations so that I correctly place these things. I hope that I do not get stuck on the same train tracks. I need to learn now to identify my train tracks and realize that I might need to come from a new angle if I'm going to come to a correct understanding of that person or situation. I need to start thinking this way now so that when I’m in the field trying to come to an understanding of my inquiry that I can see it from the tracks and angles they have in their culture. If I come from my tracks and pattern making habits I will most likely come to wrong conclusions.

Painting a Picture

Two people can go to the same place in the world and come back painting two completely different pictures to those who are wanting to learn what it was like in that part of the world. Last night I did something brave and bold that I don't generally do. I was in my room when I overheard my roommates friend talking about China. He was saying more or less his opinion that women have more equality to men in the work force in China then in most places of the world. Now I do not know if this is true or not, but I can tell you that when I lived in China teaching English that was not what I felt or observed as my view to be the case. Normally when I do not know a person too well I am hesitant to step in and share my views. I probably would have stayed in my room listening to their conversation only making rebuttals in my mind. However, in class I'm learning that it is okay, even good, to challenge others views and share my opinion. So I walked into the living room and began talking with him. I asked him questions and tried to understand why he felt the way he did. Then I shared some of my feelings and views as well. It was a very good experience. I was able to gain insight into new areas and I considered points that I hadn't considered before. Afterwards I thought. "Isn't it interesting how we can both go to the same place/culture and more or less come back with different views and interpretations." Because of class discussions I have started to ponder this concept or painting a picture. What type of picture do I currently have of Mexico and the place I will be staying in Mexico? Is this picture accurate? Am I glamorizing what my field study will be like? What type of picture will I paint for others of my experience when I come back? Will it be true to the experiences I went through while living in Mexico? I know that I have some faults assumptions and I hope to change these before I get to Mexico. I must admit that during class on Monday when I saw pictures of Mexico and the places I might be staying at I realized that I have painted a faults picture. I am changing some of my views because I'm beginning to see things as they really are. That is exciting. I have to acknowledge the faults assumptions I have made so that when I arrive in this area of Mexico I can get the most out of my experience because I see things as they really are. I hope that after my field study the picture I try to paint will be as accurate and true to the real thing as it can be.

Clearing the Dinner Table

Friday's class impacted me. How I do things is beginning to change. I came to this realization when I cleared the dinner table. I've cleared the dinner table thousands of times before but Friday was different. For the first time I cleared the table and asked the question in my head. "Why do I clear the plates before the glasses of water?" Maybe I clear the plates first hoping that I can scrub away the food before it dries. Or is it because I hope for something more after dinner...a dessert to follow. Perhaps it's because I would like to return to the table after clearing the plates to sit and visit with dear loved ones as we continue our conversations and finish drinking the rest of our water. I'm beginning to ask myself questions. "Why do I do the things I do, the way I do them?" For once in my life I'm starting to actively think and ponder about my own life and culture. This is happening because I'm starting to ask questions. In class we discussed the importance of questioning. Through questioning I can come to eternal truths. That is why it is so important to learn and apply this principle of questioning in my life. Without the right questions I will never arrive at real truths. Until I ask the right question learning will not take place. The right question will help me to apply what I'm learning. In my prayers I have learned that what I ask determines the answers I receive. If I'm still waiting for an answer I wonder at times, "Have I asked the right question to receive the Lords answer?" In the mission I learned that asking the right question would help the investigators we were teaching come to and understanding of correct truth or gospel principles. If I didn't ask the right question they didn't seem to learn and apply what we were teaching them. There is much power in the process of questioning. I'm excited that I'm starting to think and question. I fear we do not live in a culture that values questioning. Up until this class I'm not sure I fully valued the power of questioning and the how I can come to eternal truths through questioning. In truth I do not feel that I do this yet...but rather that I'm starting this journey where I will one day get to a point where I truly do value questioning. What stifles a question? What facilitates a question? In class we learned that, "A real learner is a vessel and all people are teachers." I believe that this process of question will help me learn from all those people around me who are teachers. In my class notes I wrote, "This course is going to change and challenge how I learn and then what I do with that knowledge (it has to be applied)." I'm grateful for the things I have already started to learn and the things I know I will be learning in the future. What an adventure this is going to be!